Tales From The Sky High Staff Room
by MasterShaper
Summary: oneShots about various teacher's lives....
1. RetardsRUs

**Retards-R-Us:**

**The Melon-head's Tale**

**Mr. Medulla sat back in his reclining chair, staring at the pile of essays that he would soon have to mark. Ooh, how he loathed his job! If it hadn't been for that annoying techno path Royal Pain……. He might still be who he once was….. A hero… One by the name of Mind Grappler…..**

_**Flashback**_

_**He had been a hero, with mind-controlling abilities. He could insinuate pleasure, instigate wrath, invoke confusion, influence the mind with telepathic narcotics, create fear, and…… rekindle passion……**_

_**He had put many villains behind bars…… Doctor Phobos, Cryogenius, Battle Brax, or even the legendary elemental villainess, BioHazard, all behind bars…… All of whom hated him to the highest degree…..**_

_**The glory days……. They had been rad…. He actually loved life, contrary to now... royal Pain was the cause of his misery, his everlasting mental torment…..**_

**_It had been March 25th, 1956, when he had faced Royal Pain….._**

"_**Mind Grapple yourself!" Pain bellowed, firing at him with a beam she had called a 'Retarding Beam'. **_

"_**You'll be doing time, Pain!" he shouted back, trying to grab hold of her mind, while simultaneously dodging her beams.**_

_**CRASH! He slumped to the ground, Stitches having snuck up behind him, slamming a wrench onto his head. TSEEWWW! He felt nauseous, and his vision started to cloud, while his head bled profusely.**_

"_**It's not working! You irritating jester!" he heard Pain's voice.**_

"_**Uncle! Uncle!" he heard Stitches pout, as he blacked out….**_

_**End Flashback**_

**He stroked his head. The 'Retarding Beam', he'd later learned, was supposed to reduce a person's Intelligence Quote by 99.5 percent….. for him, it had been a double-edged turn of events; he'd lost his powers, but he was now immensely smarter. Such a retarded world…… **

**Snapping out of his reverie, he grabbed the first essay off the stack, muttering, "Looks like I'll just have to teach retards for the rest of my working life…," He looked down at the essay he had grabbed. Smiled.**

"**Stronghold, D-minus!" he said, cackling maniacally, "Retards…."**


	2. Styx and Stones

**Styx and Stones:**

**The Sidekick's tale**

"**Gorman!" shouted Felix and Turner, otherwise known as Sticks and Stones.**

**A trembling Jonathan Gorman turned around to face the two bullies ,"Ye….yes?"**

"**Lunch Money, now!" demanded Turner, straight to the point as always.**

"**Or it's a swirlie!" laughed Felix, stretching out an arm and knocking Jonathan down.**

**Sighing, he handed over his money….**

**6 years later…**

**The Commander and All-American Boy were stalking Styx and Stones in an abandoned harbor, when suddenly Boy felt his shoulder being tapped from behind. Freezing in terror, he turned around to receive a face full of fist, courtesy of Styx, who then stretched around him, constricting him like a python.**

"**Uh, Commander, sir?" he asked, as his chest was constricted, making it difficult to breathe.**

"**Yes?" asked Steve, as he turned around, "Holy Snakes!"**

**As The Commander attempted to grab Styx, he got bowled over by Stones, who rammed him down at super-speed. As he got up, Styx extended his arms, releasing Jonathan, who watched in Horror as the Commander was given a super-wedgie.**

"**Yipe!" yelped the Commander, as Stones aimed a ray gun at him.**

**Jonathan then chose that moment to give Styx, a running tackle. Unfortunately, he slipped on a banana peel on the floor, flying butt-first into Styx's back. The elastic villain shouted a VERY vulgar word, as his stretchy legs were tied into loops around a pillar by Jonathan. Stones, who had just finished freezing the Commander, came charging forward at super-speed, only to trip on the same banana peel that had tripped Jonathan.**

"**Goddamnit,Felix! I told you not to leave your fruits lying around!" he shouted as he was tied up with Styx's arms. **

""**HEY!" the two villains shouted, as they realized that they had been caught.**

**Jonathan couldn't stop himself from laughing.**

**14 years later….**

**Mr. Boy wearily trudged towards his classroom. Suddenly, he was tripped by a black and white striped stretchy arm. He was then tied up in cellophane tape by a speeding blur. He shouted in fear, only to realize something.**

"**You're the boys of Styx and Stones?" he asked timidly. **

"**Yup, name's Lash," replied the stretchy one.**

"**Pleasure, Speed's the name," said the rotund speedster**

'**They're clones of their dads,' Boy thought in horror.**

**This was going to be a torturous year…..**


	3. Sidekick

**Sidekick:**

**The Loudmouth's tale**

**Life sucked for Derek Boomer. Not only was he everyone's most hated teacher (or maybe some hated Medulla more. Hmmm….), he had to place all those irritating, snot-nosed kids. Sidekick! Ha, he'll show them. Buggers.**

**He had always thought that he was a ladies' man, but how the heck had Medulla stolen not one, but _two_ women from him! Bloody citrus-head. He should stick to teaching Physics and Chemistry. Let Mr. Boomer, Casanova extraordinaire, teach women Biology….**

**As he sat there, staring balefully at Medulla (dumb ET) enjoying himself with two women, he sighed. How had this happened?**

_**Flashback**_

"_**Derek!" A young Boomer turned to see his date for the Homecoming running towards him, "Hey, Lucy!"**_

_**She approached him, saying, "Sorry."**_

"_**For what?" he had asked.**_

"_**I'm…… pregnant," she replied, shocking him worse then her electrical powers could.**_

"_**Wha… what! Who!" he shouted, breaking all the hall windows.**_

"_**Fe… Felix…," she replied, turning tail and fleeing.**_

_**Boomer stood there, fuming. Felix. He'd get back at the stretchy bastard. But first, to find a date. **_

**_Who should he ask? All the girls had been taken…._**

_**Shit.**_

_**Only Sue Tenny was available.**_

_**At the Homecoming, he'd worn a paper bag with eyeholes, much to the Techno-something's great irritance. She had bugged him till he managed spot Felix. the only event he took pleasure in for that homecoming was tying an unconcious Felix around the Sky High crest, above the school's entrance. Felix had been bruised and sore for weeks afterwards. But that didn'tchange anything. Word had spread; Derek Boomer dated Sidekicks! **_

_**He hadn't been able to ditch the shame for years.**_

**Gulping down his tea, he sulked. Swirling the dregs in the cup, he thought ,"Love's a bitch."**

**At least he'd enjoy tomorrow's Save The Citizen matches.**


	4. I'm Not Wonder Woman

**I'm Not Wonder Woman:**

**The Comet's tale**

**Unlike many teacher's at Sky High, Principal Powers had never done Hero work (besides the fact that she was a sidekick. Boomer loved rubbing that in. Grrrr!) She had attended Hydro Institute, an underwater hero Teacher's Academy. The days at HI had been good, but everything changed the day she went to Sky High.**

**She didn't start of as a Principal, but as a Hero's Biology teacher. (She'd flunked everything except for Biology in Sky High.)**

**On her first day, she'd walked into the Biology Lab, expecting a well-behaved class.**

**God must have hated her.**

**The students had been sleeping, talking, playing, reading God-knows-what, and even making out at the back of the lab. After the class, she had taken 5 aspirin tablets to eliminate her migraine. No wonder Mr. Hester had quit his job!**

**She'd become Principal after she successfully defeated CryoGenius when he attacked the then current Principal, Ms. Hydrone.**

_**Flashback**_

**_She'd gone to hand in her latest report on her Biology classes' lackluster performance when Ms. Hydrone screamed. She ran into the office to see Cryogenius (an ice-elemental villain) freezing Hydrone into a block of ice. He turned to glare at her._**

"_**Belynda?" he shouted.**_

_**A memory stirred in her head. Her Homecoming date had been…**_

"_**Matthias Head!" she shouted back, "You really did become a villain!"**_

"_**Because you announced my middle name to the whole school!" he roared, sending freezing blasts at her.**_

_**She paused, thinking. What had been his middle name?**_

_**She snickered, "Matthias DICK Head!"**_

_**Bellowing with anger, he whipped out a shrinking ray and shrunk her….**_

**_She'd later been thrown into a tank with what seemed to be Betsy, his extremely hostile pet Tokay Gecko. So Betsy was still alive, whoopee. Even though Betsy was only 9 inches long, Powers herself was only 2 inches tall after being shrunk…_**

**She didn't remember much except for Medulla battling Matthias, unshrinking her in the process. Yet she was the one who had slammed a fire extinguisher into his (Cryogenius) head, knocking him out, and Medulla sending him to jail…**

**She walked to the detention room, only to see Lash and Speed inside. AGAIN. **

**She sighed. Being Principal sucked, big time.**


End file.
